Natural Born Killers (Not the Movie)

So, I own a horse… which most of you know.  I have owned a horse since I was eleven.  For those of you who I have not yet revealed my true age to, that means I have owned a horse for eighteen years.  That horse (well Gus and his predecessor, Boogie) has lived in my backyard here in Florida for sixteen of those years.  The other two years (which are irrelevant to this particular story) Gus lived in a barn in Birmingham, AL and I lived in his front yard if you will.  So, back to current times.  I have never had a rodent “situation” in all my years of horse ownership.  I keep my feed in a sealed container.  I do not do rodents.  End of story.  Fast forward to this week…  I think my rodents are are the size of Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Not only that, but I think they have power tools.  How else in the HELL could they have drilled a 3″x2″ hole in the side of the feed container overnight (literally)?  So, because I am, ummmm, completely and thorougly disturbed and disgusted by rodents, I paid my brother and sister in law to clean out my feed room, put the feed in a new container and remove loose hay, etc hoping to eliminate the rodent habitat.  Well obviously they missed the power tool stash, because the next day, there was a huge perforated line in the new container.  Following that, there was an entrance hole.  At this point, I have to hang up the white flag.  I concede.  I need help to win this war.  My poor dingo cannot climb the rafters and so she and I are both at a loss as to how to solve this and that brings us to my natural born killers and the amazing reading talents of people.  I posted an ad on craigslist looking for a cat….  In order to avoid any confusion, I am going to post my EXACT ad right here for you to read.

ISO Mean Wicked Evil Rodent Killing Barn Cat-My barn is being overrun by rodents and I need some help. My dogs are happy to go after rodents on the ground, but they can’t climb and patrol the rafters/loft like a cat can. I need a cat that is used to being outside, is a proven mouser, is neutered/spayed and knows that not all dogs are friendly. I know this is a tall order, but surely someone has some extra barn cats.
Please contact me if you do as I would LOVE to take them off your hands.

Here are some actual real live responses that I received.  As usual, I CANNOT make this stuff up and these are responses I actually received in my inbox.

Our barn cats are always having kittens..i will see if I can capture one if you still need it


I saw your craigs list post.  I have a cat that is mean and evil and will kill mice even though she has no front claws 😉 yeah, seriously.  We are moving and can’t take her.  But she’s not a barn cat, I can’t guarantee she’ll get the mice and not sure how she’ll do around the dogs.  Can you tell me a little more about you and the property and the situation. 

There is a sweet cat that was abandoned outside my house. I always see her eting lizards

Im not sure if this cat would be what your looking for…We live in a mobile home park someone had dropped this cat off because it just showed up one day…we cannot take it in due to allergies.. we were told she is spayed and one of the neighbors that passed away the family just let her loose..she is excellent at catching rodents I have personally watch her chase and catch the little lizards and they are really quick.. Please come get her…
Blessedly, I did get a real response amongst all of that and “Ernie” and “Lola” are out in the tack room getting their bearings.  Hopefully, all will go well.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, Ernie and Lola.


Published in: on November 21, 2008 at 6:36 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. I know I shouldn’t laugh…
    but I can’t help it!

    So did your cats get the rodents?
    Poor little mice…

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